Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Summer is A-Coming
3 of those are half days (2 days of finals and graduation day); 1 of them is a full day without students (thanks a lot to central admin for making us go in when the students are done the preceding Friday. ASSHOLES.)
Anyhoo, that basically leaves just 10 days of school left. I'm mostly done everything. All I still have to do is finish teaching Acts 4 and 5 of Macbeth, test on it, and prepare them for the final exam. I also still have one vocabulary list to get through, though I'm contemplating scrapping the last one so there's more time to finish everything else and no tension that we won't finish. (Even though we'll probably easily finish.)
For the past 2 weeks I've been so proud of myself as I've been diligently and purposefully teaching them everything they need to know for the Macbeth test and drawing for them all the relevant thematic conclusions. Each lesson, as I knowledgably review plot details, explain quotes, and discuss recurring images and ideas, I inwardly pat myself on the back, confident in the knowledge that I'm doing a good job making the play come alive for them. I inwardly applaud how I've changed my lessons yet again, using past experiences to make this time even more meaningful than last time, not assuming they are making the knowledge leaps themselves, but really helping them to put the pieces together so they know how to read Shakespeare. I stop to solicit questions after each scene, and I keep the wait time open so shy kids will take the time to ask, or people processing will have time to realize they have a question. I get a little thrill each time I recite a line that's similar in concept to another line, because I told them to take notes on these connections and I happen to know that their unit test--designed by me--asks them to trace these quotes as I've outlined them, literally, at least 20 times by now. Today, though, in and among my self-congratulations, I realized something quite glaringly: all of my efforts will be for naught: they aren't listening to a damned word I'm saying.
As I looked into the sea of faces today, there was a boy fully asleep (I even used him as a prop in the banquet scene when Banquo's ghost is sitting in Macbeth's spot at the table; I said, "Wait, let's use him since he looks dead anyway." Everyone had a chuckle at his expense--he didn't budge.); there were tons of side conversations taking place; people were doing homework for other classes; people were staring into space. In a way, it was almost as if I was Banquo's ghost and Macbeth at the same time--nobody else could see me and I was the only one who knew I was there, but I continued talking nonsense anyway.
At this point in the year, the students are already done. That's unfortunate because it means that in not paying attention in class, they miss my lessons on Macbeth and, therefore, ask idiotic questions like, "Wait--you said he traveled to England. So where is they now?" (The answer is, of course, Scotland, as Macbeth is the King of Scotland, but whatever.) They don't know the names of the characters. They don't know major plot points. They don't see the connections between quotes. They haven't been writing anything down that I've said to write down. They pretend, sometimes, to be writing, but I know they aren't. Today, one boy was talking to his friend and I told him to be quiet and pay attention or I was moving them apart. He said, "What?! I'm listening. I'm taking notes on everything you said!" and held up his notebook. I said, "Really? In your JOURNAL?" His friend cracked up, he smiled sheepishly, and said, completely unconcerned, "Oh, um, looks like you got me there, Ms. M. That one's on me!" And so it goes.
But the good news is that it is, indeed, going. Time is zipping along and before I know it, it'll be the last day and I can rejoice that summer break has finally arrived.
Something weird happens to me in the spring. First, I get really drowsy from the change in weather. So sleepy that I can barely function and I get concerned that I'm seriously ill. This phenomenon hangs on for a few weeks and then my body must acclimate, and all at once I have energy stores from somewhere deep inside. It isn't that I'm not tired; it's more like I have a desire to stay up until the sun goes down. I notice myself staying out later, eating dinner later, staying up later into the night. I start to think, "Well, if I'm tired tomorrow, it's no big deal. We're almost done."
The same type thing happens to me at school in the spring. First, I get really tired of all the shit excuses, poor work, bad attitudes, and the like. This phenomenon hangs on for a few months and then I become numb to it, so that I no longer seem to notice. It isn't that it doesn't bother me; it's more like I have a desire to preserve a shred of my sanity and personal happiness so I'm not a miserable hag at home. I notice myself grading fewer assignments, not bringing work home, talking to my friends during my plan instead of planning. I start to think, "Well, there's only another month or so. We're almost done."
And now, here we are. There's light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm going toward it. Just fourteen work days stand between me and a heavenly break from the madness. We're almost done!
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