Friday, February 12, 2010
Pies, Lies, Highs, and Thinner Thighs: Me Kicking Ass
I can now officially call my apple pie "award-winning" since I won the school's bake off today. Yahoo!
I'm totally psyched about this distinction, even though it was hardly a scientific win. While I stand by my pie's deliciousness, it doesn't escape my awareness that I trekked down to the judging table accompanied by 5 friends who all voted for me because they like me (and who hadn't yet even tasted my pie). It brightens me a bit that after they tasted it they told me that my pie was, in fact, delish and that they would have voted for my pie had they not already voted for it, but then, they wouldn't exactly have said, "Your pie tasted like ass, Natalie; I would've chosen the chocolate raspberry cake!" now would they?
In any event, a win's a win and I'll take it! Like I said, I'm super pumped about it. It turns out that there's even a prize involved (which I didn't know before)-- a $20 gift card. Woo hoo! Earlier today when I said, "Ooh! I hope I win!" someone was like, "What do you win?" I responded, "I don't know--nothing, probably. I just want to win! Just the title 'winner' would do it for me!" But I'm not going to lie: it's exciting that there's a prize, too.
So, in sum, I'M AN AWARD-WINNING BAKER!!!! Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm totally psyched about this distinction, even though it was hardly a scientific win. While I stand by my pie's deliciousness, it doesn't escape my awareness that I trekked down to the judging table accompanied by 5 friends who all voted for me because they like me (and who hadn't yet even tasted my pie). It brightens me a bit that after they tasted it they told me that my pie was, in fact, delish and that they would have voted for my pie had they not already voted for it, but then, they wouldn't exactly have said, "Your pie tasted like ass, Natalie; I would've chosen the chocolate raspberry cake!" now would they?
In any event, a win's a win and I'll take it! Like I said, I'm super pumped about it. It turns out that there's even a prize involved (which I didn't know before)-- a $20 gift card. Woo hoo! Earlier today when I said, "Ooh! I hope I win!" someone was like, "What do you win?" I responded, "I don't know--nothing, probably. I just want to win! Just the title 'winner' would do it for me!" But I'm not going to lie: it's exciting that there's a prize, too.
So, in sum, I'M AN AWARD-WINNING BAKER!!!! Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Today in my classes I gave out candy necklaces to my students. Only, I didn't want to give them to my 3rd block class because they're obnoxious and annoy the piss out of me. I was gratified to receive more 'thank yous' than I have in a long time (I guess candy is the preferred gift over pencils--hmmm...these kids are so misguided!) but as block 3 wore on, I just couldn't bring myself to give them the necklaces. Before lunch I gazed out at them and realized that there were about 10 or 11 kids to which I'd like to give the treat, but the other 8 or 9 I just didn't. Sadly, my contempt for the 8 or 9 is greater than my liking for the 10 or 11, so I determined that they wouldn't be getting any. I wished to myself that there was a way that I could just give it to the ones I like and not to the ones I don't.
Thankfully, the lunch gods made it so I could actually do this.
After lunch, the jerky kids always lollygag in the hall, assembling outside my room and not coming in. I yell at them every day and they say, "What? The bell didn't ring yet!" There is no bell after lunch, which they know. This is just how annoying they are. This post-lunch divide of good kids vs annoying kids was never so clear to me as it was today. One by one the goodies came through the door. I decided that now was my chance. I started giving out the candy as they entered. After the good 10 walked in-- and NONE of the annoying ones had yet even to arrive in the hallway!!-- I proclaimed, "Well, nobody who isn't here on time is getting candy. That's it!" Then I put out the quizzes and the other jerks filtered in and didn't even realize they'd been excluded from the treat. (One kid, after finishing his quiz asked if he could have a necklace but I told him no since he'd been late, and that was the end of that.)
"But Natalie, what is so bad about these kids? Surely there's no need to exclude them from treats, is there?" you may ask.
The answer, though, is a resounding yes to the exclusion. These are the kids who stole a book sock right off of someone's book that was left on my shelf. And they are also, I suspect, the kids who STOLE a conversation heart decoration right off of my window when I was out for the funeral the other day!
Yes, that's right; they STOLE from ME! I'm incensed by this phenomenon. First off, they know the fucking poster isn't theirs. Second, they know it's mine. Third, they waited for a day I wasn't there (but was, instead, out at a funeral because someone died and I was off mourning his death, thus giving these disgusting creatures the opportunity) to steal from me. Fourth, it isn't like these dishonest shitwads don't have every single thing they want or need in life, thus negating the fact that they are at a loss for things and simply took it because they can't go to the damned dollar store to buy their own. Fifth, they signed an HONOR PLEDGE (and we discussed the importance of it numerous times)--obviously their word means dick.
I think it's absolutely deplorable that I can't trust kids not to steal or deface property. When I brought it up in class, they acted like they didn't know what I was talking about. "Hey, does anyone know anything about my missing conversation heart poster that was there when I left for the day on Monday and is now NOT there?" "What? Oh?! Um, what did it say?" "Well, since there were 2 of each, and now there's only 1 of the Be Mine poster, I guess it was that one." "Oh. Um? Hmm. That's weird. Well, you know, it IS Valentine's Day time. Maybe someone gave it as a card? But, uh, it wasn't anyone in here." "Well, I think it WAS someone in here since it was someone in here who stole a book sock off of someone's book along the side wall! Obviously, you people are thieves."
Their response: silence, except for the kid who said, "Stole a book sock off a book?! Good move!" (without a hint of irony, but instead awestruck.)
And, again, these kids are our future. Again, I weep.
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I like meditation. It makes me feel good. I think everyone should meditate. It really makes life feel better.
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I just bought a pair of the new Sketcher Shape Ups (you know, the ones with the high, goofy sole that are designed to help burn more calories and improve circulation and posture). They were supposed to be on sale for $99.95 (from $109.95) but of course the ones I got--the cute gray ones with pink etching--were not on sale. However, as I bought them from Kohl's, I had a 20% off coupon AND bought them during the Kohl's cash promotion, which means I ended up getting $20 in Kohl's cash for spending $100. So I think I probably got the best deal I could get on them. (And the ones I got were a new spring style, so I have the most up-to-date style.)
Anyhoo, I'm excited to try them. I have to ease into wearing them (25-45 mins per day with daily 5-10 min incremental increases in time each day for the first 2 weeks) to get used to the new walking style, but I think it'll be worth it. We'll see. I'm not one to spend nearly a hundred bucks on sneakers, but I've been fascinated by these shoes for months now, and decided I'm ready to give them a whirl. I'll let you know how they are. I've only heard good things (from random strangers, but still...)
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